


only you can ease my mind

by buddiebuddie



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 3x12 missing scene, Established Relationship, M/M, using my creative liberties on that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23290474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buddiebuddie/pseuds/buddiebuddie
Summary: “Eddie feels warm all over, the anxiety of the day ebbing away as Buck’s words land, finding purchase in his brain and setting in.”aka what would have happened in 3x12 if i had writing privileges at fox
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 287





	only you can ease my mind

**Author's Note:**

> as the summary suggests, this might as well be the fic formerly known as What I Wish Happened Tonight, Featuring The Events of 3x12 With The Added Pizazz Of What I Wanted (and what i wanted was established buddie and this scene immediately after the one where carla and eddie brought chris home from school) 
> 
> two things:  
> 1\. title from my king ben platt  
> 2\. unbeta’d so all mistakes are my own and come with an invitation to drag me in the comments for any you find xoxo

Buck answers the phone on the second ring. “Hey, baby.” 

Eddie exhales. He feels his whole body relax at the sound of Buck’s voice. “Hey,” he replies. He can hear the music of some video game in the background, the sound of it fighting for dominance over that of the clicking of Buck’s fingers on the controller.

“What’s up?”

“Just needed to hear your voice,” Eddie admits. His voice breaks on the last word, Eddie trying to cover it with a sharp inhale. He forces a smile, even though Buck can’t see it. 

“Everything okay?” Buck asks, pulling his phone from his ear to check the time. It’s a little after nine, so Chris is in bed. He brings the phone back up to his ear, wondering what has Eddie so rattled. He doesn’t wait for Eddie’s response before he’s shoving his feet into his shoes and grabbing his keys from the hook beside the door. 

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “No,” he adds quickly. 

“Eddie.”

“I don’t know,” Eddie admits, a sob bubbling up in his throat. He swallows it down before it can escape. He takes another shaky breath, trying to regain his composure. “I don’t… I don’t know. Can you— I mean, if you’re not—”

Buck is already in his car. “I’m on my way.” 

Eddie’s outside when Buck pulls up, sitting on the steps of the front porch. His bare feet rest on the sidewalk, the hem of his gray sweatpants brushing against the cement. Buck takes a seat beside him, not saying anything. He places a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. 

Eddie drops his head, letting out a shaky breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding. He leans into the touch, bringing his own hand up and placing it on top of Buck’s. 

“Hard day or something?” Buck breaks the comfortable silence. 

Eddie stares ahead at the houses on the other side of the street, lost in thought. “Or something,” he says. 

“Eddie.” Buck’s voice is calm yet insistent. It’s all it takes for Eddie to spill. He tells him everything —the skateboard accident, the conversation with Christopher’s teacher, what Chris said to him at the dining room table— all of it coming out like word vomit. 

“I know I’m not a perfect parent,” Eddie says, voice shaky. “I know I’ve screwed up plenty, I know I’ve let him down. And now he thinks I lied to him. I don’t know what’s worse, that he believes it or that he’s right.” Christopher’s words had cut like a knife. And Eddie— Eddie _knows_ his son didn’t mean to hit him right where it hurts, didn’t mean to split his heart in half with two little words. _You lied_. He keeps replaying them in his head, sees the betrayal written across Christopher’s face each time he closes his eyes. He knows Chris didn’t mean it, but it still hurts just the same. 

Buck sighs, resting his head on Eddie’s shoulder. “That kid loves you so much.” 

“I know,” Eddie replies. Sure, Christopher’s disappointment was gone within minutes, but the pit in Eddie’s gut remained, even all these hours later. It was only after he had tucked Chris in, with promises of a better day tomorrow and a few extra _I love you_ s, that he let the events of the day catch up to him. “I don’t know why he still does when all I do is let him down.” 

“You couldn’t let him down if you tried,” Buck says, matter-of-fact. “Hey, look at me.” Eddie does, meeting Buck’s gray-blue eyes. “You are an incredible father, okay? You give that kid the world and he absolutely adores you.”

“He’s right, though. I lied to him.”

“No, you didn’t. You told him he can do anything, and he can. Just because some things will be harder for him doesn’t mean he can’t do them.” 

Eddie nods, taking Buck’s words in. “And,” Buck adds. “If he's anything like his dad, he won't let anything get in the way of what he wants.”

Eddie feels warm all over, the anxiety of the day ebbing away as Buck’s words land, finding purchase in his brain and setting in. He knows Buck is right— hell, he’s always right about things like this. He wonders what he ever did before he had him, unsure of how he made it so long without this man by his side, his sounding board, confidant, and biggest cheerleader all in one.  
  
“I love you, you know?”

“I know,” Buck says, pulling Eddie to his chest and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Eddie sighs, closing his eyes as Buck starts to rub small circles on his back. He feels calm for the first time all day. “I love you, too,” Buck all but whispers. 

Eddie tilts his head up, their lips meeting in a soft kiss. “I know.” 


End file.
